You feel like you wasted your life?
"I might as well enjoy it while I’m here and play around with the other beings." | 100 DoW #74
Hey friends, I came across this short thread, and I know many who’ve had this sinking feeling, me included. So I thought I’d write a little response.
This will change.
If you said you were 66, then maybe not. Or at least it’d be way more difficult cause there’s even more “karma” attached to your self/ego. But at 26, you got a life ahead of you!
I had this feeling of having wasted my life until I was nearly 35, and it went away completely1 after I realized I was good enough as I am.2 Maybe not all my actions and ways of thinking—i.e., the persona or ego—but the core part of me? That’s just unbounded goodness. As is everyone’s core being.
Now I see just being here—alive and taking in the world—as a gift. So I might as well enjoy it while I’m here and play around with the other beings.
I might as well enjoy it while I’m here and play around with the other beings.
And on a more particular note—and maybe it’s stronger for women, though I always experienced this as well: Do you have the wish to become a parent?
I know women who’ve “filled” that hole or sinking feeling by becoming a mom. From my experience as a dad, having kids also helps me with a part of that “meaning-making.” Not necessarily because of a “look at me, I’m leaving a legacy” idea but because my kids make me feel grateful every day cause I can see the world through their eyes of wonder.
Anyway, good luck, you’ll be fine!
Warm regards,
Jibran
And a little before that, when I became a father.
Though it needed lots of (trauma) integration, contemplation, journaling, some mdma, and a heroic dose of mushrooms.