Start at The End — A mission I wasn't yet ready for [blog]
I found an old journal entry, a manifesto, that I had forgotten I wrote...
In late 2019 I was writing ~500 words every day of the week for a total of ten weeks. It was part of a self-imposed "challenge," which I tried to use as a method to lift myself up by my bootstraps. It was a way for me to help myself crawl out of the dark and existential hole I was in.
Sidenote: there was an actual method to the madness of that challenge. Here's an excerpt from a previous post I wrote about self-acceptance:
"I started the challenge because I was sick of myself floating in a different direction every other week. I needed an anchor of sorts. Something to stay in one place so I could get my bearings. Thus doing daily writing, for my mind and heart, and lifting weights, for my body, was a welcoming constraint to help me pave a path forward. It was a no-excuses way to get results."
One of the things I wrote during that period1 was a journal-entry-slash-manifesto.
I had forgotten I wrote it and found it just now by accident, as I was searching for the word "creative" in my Google Drive. I guess I had forgotten I wrote it because the day (January 2nd, 2020) after I transferred my writing from Grammarly to Google Docs was a definite before-and-after moment.
You see, on January 3rd, 2020, my wife and I took MDMA together in a therapy setting, and a lot changed (for the better) after that.
I went on a 2.5-year introspective journey during turbulent global times. A journey where I had lots of ups (travel in New Zealand with wife and kids, meet amazing people online and offline) and downs (Covid measures, addiction to watching bitcoin charts) that brought things of my past to the surface. Things I had to integrate before I felt I could continue on whatever journey I was on.
And now I'm here, “man-integrated,” returning to the exact things I wrote about in 2019. Reviving the hopeful elements that emerged from my heart while I was so lost in that desolate 2019-winter.
During that dark night of the soul, I finally sensed what was important to me, important beyond the love for my wife and our kids. But I wasn't ready to do something with it. Yet.
And now these ideas have come back naturally, almost in a new way, as if I had never thought of them before. In a sense that’s accurate though. I haven’t thought of these ideas before, that was the Jibran of 2019. But he is no more, that Jibran is dead. (Long live Jibran!)
So without keeping you waiting any longer, here is my journal entry from that time. (I'm putting it here as is, only fixing some typos. My writing from that time was much more amateurish, not edited for others to read, and likely written in one go. So it’s kinda raw. Also, it’s written when I was in one of my darker moments, so it can feel a bit egocentric. But I don't think it matters for the content as I'd like to keep it real here anyway.)
(Nov-Dec 2019)
Start at The End
How do I see the end? The end of my life? The end of my career? The end of having a sustainable business? The end of humanity? The end of history?
There are so many ends.
All ends are subjective.
So the end I want to focus on is the following:
- An important end is about 16 years down the line. A moment where Daisy and Bran are adults. Where they can stand up for themselves, where they are proud to be whoever they are. Where they can make an impact on themselves and the world in a way that benefits them.
- Essentially, my kids being happy and fulfilled.
- The best way for me to influence that outcome is to live as an example of that [idea].
- Then give them the opportunity and support to do so too.
What are the necessities for that?
- Spend time with them.
- Be consistent in what I do and show.
- Allow them to try out what they want, and provide them with things to try out.
- Time and attention are the things most important actually.
- Helping them with a platform or such is an addition and not a necessity.
How can I be with my kids, having full attention?
- By feeling fulfilled in what I want to reach in my life. Which still is, setting up a successful business that makes an impact on the lives of many.
- If I do that, and it's going well, then I don't have to context switch so much. Then it is part of me, and thus I can have more attention for my kids.
- This means that I should be running a business that is 100% aligned with my values and goals.
- The business is just the form that a Mission takes. This is something others (Gigi) may not understand yet. Which I should not fault them for.
So, again what is my mission?
- Influence and inspire as many people in the world to find their voice. Then help them to use their strengths and abilities to share their voice in the world, thereby making a positive impact on their circle of influence.
Assumptions I have:
- If people have found their voice, they are happier human beings.
- If people are happier human beings, they 'share the love,' and they are nicer to each other.
- When people are nicer to each other, they create better connections.
- When people create better connections, they are more compassionate towards one another.
- This ends up in a better and brighter future.
I can plug into this process by:
- Inspire and educate people to find their voice. (Self-improvement)
- Educate people on how to use their voices in a way that aligns with their strengths (Content creation).
- Educate people on how to share their voices in a way that is sustainable for them. (Business)
- To gather a community around this, I need more than just the education part. I need the WHY to be clear. Then I need a niche that is small enough that it feels like a cozy circle. Visionary individuals that found their voice and want to share this with the world while making a living.
This statement is a representation of both entrepreneurs and creatives, which is good because I want to cater to the overlap of these two audiences.
As you see, it's a bit of a jumble of questions and ideas, some of which I've been able to let go of (like the need to have an impact on many lives), and some which I’ve added (have more fun doing it all), but the core of it still rings true to me.
My mission: I want to help the world's makers, visionaries, artists, and creative entrepreneurs. And anyone in between. I want to help them resolve their shit, find their voice, do their work, and serve their mission.
How I'm gonna do that is still a little vague, though I do have ideas. Some of which are, again, an echo of what I wrote down 3 years ago.2
In any case, I will keep you posted!
If you resonate with this mission or are working on things aligned with this I would love to hear from you!
Also, I would love it if you shared this post with other like-minded folks!
Sincerely,
Jibran
I'm not exactly sure of the date because on January 2nd, 2020, I transferred it to a Google doc, as well as all my writing from that time. But looking at the ordering of the Google Docs, I guess it's from late November or early December 2019.
I also found another post of that same period, where I dug a little more into one of the concrete business ideas I had for helping creators. Which I called Creator's Journey, where I'd build a community of coaches and creators and connect them to one another.
Jibran is dead, long live Jibran! Loved this piece. Such deep introspection.