Lift heavy stuff — Home is where the heart is (#1)
If you put in the work and do it well, it’ll stand the test of time.
“Home is where the heart is” - Pliny the Elder (23 AD)
“For God’s sake, darling, can you tell me again why you ordered concrete pavers that weigh 160 pounds apiece?!” I said to GG, sweating all over, my back hurting, and my face red with exertion.
“They’re not that heavy… are they?” GG said. I could hear the pretend surprise in her voice, and I gave a half-grin back and said, “Babe, they’re half again as much your weight. Ron and I will need an ambulance after the day is done.”
Ron, my mate, had offered to help me make a garden terrace in our backyard. The day before, we had already built a low foundation that we filled and stamped with sand—of course, after I had measured and lain out everything in neat fashion (GG sometimes, half-joking, half-serious, calls me Measurement Man...).
Everything was supposed to fit just right. The foundation to support the pavers even had a slight downward slope of one inch from house to garden so that the terrace would drain rainfall towards the grass. At least, that’s if we could get those mother f’ing tombstones into the back garden in the first place.
We moved each of the sixty pavers across 100 feet of “driveway” (read: building pit) and then through the small garage door. Then, having done all that, we had to lay them down slowly and neatly onto the sandbed so we wouldn’t disturb the neatly packed sand (or we’d have to haul them all out again). All that without crushing our fingers or breaking our backs.
As Ron and I were re-enacting the build of Stonehenge in my backyard, I recalled how we got to this moment. A few weeks before, GG said she’d really want the garden terrace finished before my relatives came over. As she was working a full-time job and I was working part-time—the remaining days I spent building our house—she offered to pay for the pavers, but I would need to lay them.
“Fair deal!” Or so I thought.
Frugal as she is, GG went for the cheapest pavers she could find in the colors she liked (purplish). She bought them from someplace where all other tiles and pavers were either sold out or too expensive for our budget. But these ones weren’t sold out. Of course, in hindsight, they weren’t sold out because few in their right mind would choose pavers as heavy as grown men.
After Ron and I had finished the terrace with our fingers and backs intact, my relatives came over a few days later. The funny thing was, GG and I didn’t even get to invite them onto the terrace because the rain was coming down in bucket loads. (At least the water perfectly drained to the garden! )
A few years later, we made another terrace further down the backyard. We hired “professionals” to make that one (read: people who accepted our low bid and did a quick and sloppy job). That terrace started ‘moving’ after the first winter season.
But not the one Ron and I built!
Now, seven years after putting down the first ‘Stonehenge-sized’ paver, everything still lies there, unmoved by ice, water, and even (small) earthquakes.
GG and I still enjoy our terrace nearly every day. And I frequently recall how Ron and I finished lifting and settling the last pavers. Thinking back to that deeply satisfying moment where we enjoyed the taste of a cold beer at sundown while sitting on the terrace we just made. (Btw, thanks, Ron, for your building expertise, strong back, and above all, for being my friend!)
I often indulge in retelling this terrace story to new guests at our household. Especially when they’re sitting on this exact terrace enjoying the sun, a snack, or a drink. And yes, I must admit, it does stroke my ego a bit when I’m talking about our overengineered deck.
To keep this story light-hearted, I won’t go into the symbolism of the similarity between a sturdy terrace and a sturdy (romantic) relationship. Or how a strong foundation is essential for both of these. Or how friends offering support to that end are crucial to success. Or how the carrying and placing of heavier foundational pieces will build a more robust outcome, exemplifying the ‘proof of work’ you put into the relationsh… eh terrace. 😉
Hey, thanks for reading! This is the first in a series of light-hearted anecdotes around finding, building, and living in and around our house. I intend to write these every so often, mixed in between my other personal stories, essays, and articles.
Let me know if you enjoyed this! And please share it with those who you feel relate to this story.
Sincerely,
Jibran